For this Child I Prayed

One year ago today, my husband Shawn and I received one of the most life changing news. We had recently (and surprisingly) learned that we would be expecting another baby in the spring. A BABY! We felt so blessed. We couldn’t wait to meet our new little one with pudgy feet, baby giggles and that irresistible baby smell.

But that morning…  I had taken routine blood tests the week before, not thinking too much of it since this, after all, our 3rd time to this baby thing. We were pros. It was our doctor, and he had ‘news’ to share with us. We were not prepared, I don’t think anyone really ever is. You always think it happens to other people but not me. His words, that as soon as I heard them, felt like strong and swift blows to my heart. ‘Your baby will probably not have a heartbeat when I see you on your next visit.’ (which was 3 days from that call). Baby had a 99% chance of downs syndrome and they didn’t expect him to survive the next few days. SO MANY WORDS. Words I couldn’t comprehend, words that my mind couldn’t catch… I felt like I was drowning in them.

I won’t lie. I didn’t have the ‘God’s got this’ feeling. I immediately felt anguish, grief, sadness (such OVERWHELMING sadness) and loneliness. Our doctor went on to advise that we had ‘options’. All I could remember hearing was ‘no heartbeat’ and ‘options’. But instinctively I advised him that there were no ‘options’, that this was God’s gift to our family. That we chose LIFE. I think I just mouthed what my heart knew but my mind was not yet in agreement with. All my mind could think of was death. Yet my heart knew better. We hung up the phone and just wept… and wept… and wept.

In the midst of our grief and sadness that morning, we decided to stand on God’s Word.

Deuteronomy 31:6 ‘Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave your or forsake you.’ — When we find ourselves in a battle and surrounded – God is with us. WE ARE NOT ALONE

Psalm 139:13 ‘For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb,’ — When we are given a prognosis of sickness and lack – God was there from the very beginning of our creation. It’s His word that brings life and not death. — WE ARE NOT ALONE

Psalm 56:8 ‘You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.’ — In the midst of our sadness, grief and despair – God is there to comfort you — WE ARE NOT ALONE

Because of this step of faith by speaking God’s word that morning, His peace carried me. In that moment, and in the moments I have walked in since then, I am living exceedingly and abundantly above what God has promised me — for this child I prayed (1 Samuel 1:27-28)

After an eventful pregnancy, we delivered our healthy and beautiful baby boy (6 weeks early) in January. And with an extra chromosome, we find that we are even more blessed to have such a gift from God. Giovanni – God is gracious. Yes He is. Exceedingly. Abundantly. Above.

• God hears your prayers – EVERY ONE
• God catches your tears and keeps them – EVERY ONE

So no matter how defeated you may feel – We are more than conquerors (Romans 8:31-39)

And no matter how big our obstacles are – No weapon formed against us will prosper (Isaiah 54:17)

This blog is dedicated to our miracle baby. I hope to share with you what we have learned and the new journey that our family is traveling.

Grace for the journey — Jerusha