God has a Plan

I’m a planner, always have been. And if I’ve learned anything in the last 2 decades of adulthood, it’s that things usually don’t go the way I planned. I think it’s God’s way of reminding me that He is in control. He knows what’s best, He knows my future, and I just need to trust. Easier said than done. To be fully surrendered to HIS plan is a journey of faith. This new journey is one I never thought I’d have to walk (and sometimes crawl). Constantly reminding myself – one foot in front of the other.

We were given the prognosis of possible (and probable) downs syndrome at 12 weeks. From what seemed like routine blood test came results that blew away my hopes for a ‘Normal’ pregnancy. Our next steps (minutes, hours, days…) became an exercise of strength, faith and hope. The prognosis is given at this stage of the pregnancy to give mothers time to decide what they would like to do, to keep or terminate the baby. Life happens at conception. It’s a baby from the very first moment it was created (Psalms 139). I became a mother (again :)) the day that the baby was conceived. Your body, mind and spirit  come into agreement in developing and nurturing that baby. When we were given the news, I initially felt anxious and grieved. Anxious because I didn’t know anything about downs syndrome. And grief – because what I thought (and planned) was gone. We made the choice to not accept those feelings and take steps
towards God’s plan. God’s good and perfect plan.

1. Educate Yourself
   • Do your research. And be diligent in finding out the truth.
   • Get a 2nd opinion and/or see a specialist. Our OB referred us to a high risk doctor who, with the support of our OB, took amazing care of us and our baby
   • Find a support group. They will help you navigate through the maze of what ifs
   • Build your core prayer group. I surrounded  myself with a group of strong women of faith. They prayed for every visit, listened to my sometimes crackling voice and thoughts, and spoke words of encouragement and life to us
2. Allow yourself to grieve (but be careful not to dwell here… you HAVE to move forward).
   • Grieving (with God’s peace) allows you to be stripped of all the things you thought you had control of. It allows you to be open to what God has to pour into your life.To be in full surrender to what comes next. Grieving in anguish will do the exact opposite. It will compound negative thoughts and actions… don’t go there.
   • This is a crucial time for you to know what God’s Word says and apply it. Say it over and over again in your mind and out loud. Surround yourself in praise and worship. And I promise you, you won’t be able to stay in this stage very long.
3. Let Light In
   • When my other 2 children were little they were afraid of the dark. When they came running to me afraid, I would always tell them that darkness is just the absence of light. And that all they needed to do was turn a light on. These are the verses that helped me walk those 1st next steps. I hope they shine a light where you need it too.
   • Psalms 119:105 ‘Your Word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.’
   • Psalms 27:13-14 ‘I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and courageous. Wait for the Lord.’
   • Isaiah 58:11 ‘The Lord will guide you always. He will satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones. You will be like a well watered garden. Like a spring whose waters never run dry.’

Giovanni is a gift. He was born 6 weeks early and with an extra chromosome (Downs Syndrome). AND he was born COMPLETELY HEALTHY. In fact, he and I spent 51 days in the hospital for ‘monitoring’. (I’ll share more of that in a future blog). Our doctors and nurses were amazed at how healthy we both were. They kept using words like ‘puzzled’ and phrases like ‘you’re not textbook’. And why not… ‘but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,’ 1 Corinthians 1:27. He had a plan.

God has a plan. Trust it. Live it. Enjoy it.

Grace for the Journey – Jerusha